To Be a Chivalrous Man

This is taken from the pages of my notebook. "you" meaning I or Me. This is essentially about me. But more about my philosophy on life.

It is to be the one fighting the good fight. Treating people right even when they treat you wrong. Its a hard life, it's been a hard life.

At every turn it seems I'm kicked when I'm down, disrespected at every corner. I am not complaining by any means. I just want to inform any male of our species that if you plan to go about your days giving everyone equal and fair treatment you are bound to be taken advantage of. Used and abused. It comes with its perks. You go to sleep at night knowing that, though you are hurt, you did not hurt others. You walked away from that encounter, with a mind clear of all negative Karma.

To don the shining armor, and hold your shield high. You will need the protection from that armor, because you wont take the easy path, there are lessons to be learned from every battle and you fight them willingly knowing that. You pay the price for wanting to fight for others. To be there when they call, when they truly need you, to open the doors for them, to set them free. To show them that you are not going to be the one to hurt them.

The proverbial sword, stays sheathed. And thats important too, though true enemies will be few and far between, you cant let your guard down. You cant trust everyone you meet. And on the same note, you cant draw your sword at everyone you meet. There are people that deserve chivalry. I still have yet to learn who deserves such treatment.

To be a chivalrous man in modern times is not too different from being a Paladin.

pal·a·din   (from dictionary.com)
[pal-uh-din]
–noun
1. any one of the 12 legendary peers or knightly champions in attendance on Charlemagne.
2. any knightly or heroic champion.
3. any determined advocate or defender of a noble cause.

It is to fight for what you believe, not to push your beliefs on others. But to hold your ground, and not give in to the pressures of others. It is to decide based on clear facts and not false rumor, gathering information first, from enough sources as to not be illogical. Then from that foundation you can then see the situation for what it is, and act with a clear mind and conscience.

When you are attacked, wrongfully accused, insulted and played. You take it in, learn why they are doing these things. Talk to them, make them listen, learn who they are inside and befriend them. Show them that what they are doing is wrong not just to you but to them, show them that they never even wanted to do the things they did. I have done this one several occasions. I have turned enemies in to friends, and kept friends as friends. The one enemy I could not show my honor to, needed my hate. He needed to feel powerful, but I would not give that power to them. I showed him respect through comments like "Fag," "Retard," "Useless," (in reference to my art) "Hippie," and "Loser" This can happen more often than it happened to me. I had a surprising success rate with enemies turning to my side.

"Never suffer a fool to live."

Oh but to be a chivalrous man, you will. Many fools will be in need of your help, and when you are in need of theirs, they will abandon you and call you weak, when they were once too weak to help themselves and you were there for them.

It is a life of sacrifice. Especially in the name of Love. The game of love has evolved into a deluded mess in the modern world. We expect our partner to be perfect, yet see ourselves as scum. Pitiful worthless husks seeking the perfect example of the human form and function. You want me to be a doctor, and have a perfect body. We've become crazy as a species. To be a chivalrous man is to find order in all that chaos. Or, in my case, cause just enough chaos to birth order. Still on the subject of love. To be a chivalrous man is to see the beauty in the horrific, and the horrific in the beautiful.

"Every rose has its thorns. "

To be a chivalrous man is to take the rose, with its thorns. They prick and poke, prod and stab. When you climb to the top of the stem you feel the silk of the petals and smell the comforting aroma. You take the good with the bad. Because at the end of the day, at least you have that rose.

But what can you do when the rose that has brought you so much comfort and security does not want you. To be a chivalrous man is to back off willingly. Knowing they will be happy without you, or with someone else. It is to be alone while others are not.

It is to live your life in the shadow of sadness until one day. You find those that truly deserve it.

You find that to be a chivalrous man, is to be free.

I have lived this way for as long as I can remember, shed countless tears. Bared many broken hearts; many bruises and cuts upon my ego. Had my self esteem drained. The armor is heavy, the shield even heavier. The sword, though clean, is at the ready. I will always live this way.

I lay my head down at night, completely free.